by Paul Barry
Be grateful
Gratitude is surprisingly empowering. Highly successful people give thanks on a regular basis, for they know that no-one reaches great heights alone. Give a gift, offer your time, thank someone in writing, or simply send him or her regular warm vibes. Whichever way you can afford to offer your gratitude, you will notice a difference in your life in no time at all. Otherwise, continue to believe you made it on your own and spend the rest of your career in the same state – alone.
Be Helpful
Are you too busy to help anyone other than yourself? Do you choose only acting work that pays you top dollar? Have you ever assisted a colleague in a way that does not directly angle at getting work for you? Helpfulness, like gratitude, is an all too rare commodity in this game, and I believe it is another common denominator of successful people. Though you may have limited time, resources or funds, choose someone to help, and try and make it an act of altruism. Helping only in return for something is obvious to the beneficiary, and doesn’t lead to strong relationships. Take the focus off yourself occasionally and do the world around you some good. Your act of altruism may turn out to be incredibly advantageous to you, but if not, it will definitely be for someone else.
Renounce gossip
If I had a dollar for every time I have heard an actor gossip about something they have zero knowledge on, I would be writing this from my Hollywood Hills mansion. Gossip is careless chatter about anything without actual facts. Gossip about celebrities is the main offender, but gossip purporting to be about acting technique comes a close second. Telling a friend that so-and-so apparently did such-and-such to prepare for a role is useless to us as professionals. Gossip fills the space better occupied by technical competency and first-hand experience. The TMZ style of ‘journalism’ has sadly infiltrated acting classes these days, and any teacher who promotes or allows it is as destructive as a parent turning a blind eye to their child’s subsistence on a junk food diet. Renounce it. Forever. As seductive as it may be to tell your friend about Angelina Jolie’s latest alleged affair or Russell Crowe trashing a hotel room, it gets you nowhere professionally and lowers people’s estimation of you. As I once read: ‘If someone gossips to you, they gossip about you’. It’s safer in every way to simply not be a part of it.
Make sacrifices
I have had countless friends in my life tell me they wish they had my ‘romantic’ lifestyle. Sick of their desk jobs, they view my acting and writing and teaching as something that just fell into my lap. How lucky I must be, they fantasise. They do not see (or they choose to ignore) the immense sacrifice I have made to continue this life. I sometimes feel I have spent years following already high-stake bets with further double-or-nothing gambles. Some have paid off, but many have not. I sacrifice my leisure time, my luxury items, and even other potentially lucrative careers, to be where I am. And still, I continue. Do you sacrifice much in your life, or do you always buy the latest shoes, dresses, or gadgets? If you do, fine, but pay attention to all the success stories you read about people who gave up their homes, jobs, and comfortable lifestyles to pursue their dream. 2013 might just be the year for you to do the same.
Be supportive
An infinite number of projects, campaigns, and appeals come to us on Facebook, or in emails. How many do you support? I don’t necessarily mean financially, but how many do you like, share, comment on, or offer encouraging words to? Technology has made it insanely simple to bolster one another’s attempts to make something happen in this world, but the Internet is often like a street full of cafes and restaurants. A wonderful restaurant will stand empty beside an average restaurant with a massive line up. Would you be the one to walk into the empty restaurant and order a meal? Ask yourself why you are happy to publicly back something everyone already supports, but not necessarily brave enough to place your individual stamp of approval on a relative unknown. The only way big things grow from small things is with your support. Keep in mind that when you fail to water a plant, it withers and dies. Failing to nurture fledgling enterprises is contributing to their demise. Actors, independent films and businesses included. If you aren’t part of the solution, you are part of the problem. Be supportive. Follow your heart and forget what others might think. Walk into that cute little empty restaurant; you may just find that crowds of people were dying for someone to make the first move.
Work harder and smarter
We all think we work harder than anyone around us, but it’s simply not true. We work as hard as we feel appropriate and then stop. Sometimes we push ourselves a little harder, but usually we don’t. In conjunction with sacrifice, hard work is far superior to dumb luck. They say, ‘the harder you work, the luckier you get’. Have you tried this philosophy on for size, or do you stick to a few hours here and there, and just wait to see if it works out? All work and no play make Jack a dull boy, sure. But no work and all play make Jack a jackass. If you are spending most of your time on social media, then make sure it is an economical use of your time, and check out ITTT. Support from such innovations may add hours of free time to your day. It is your choice to spend your life working moderately or inefficiently whilst hoping for a shot at the title, but just don’t complain when your kids one day ask why you didn’t follow your dreams. Saying, ‘I didn’t work hard enough’ or ‘I ran out of time’ will hardly bring a grin of pride to their faces. This Christmas and New Year, enjoy yourself and take a well-earned break. Next year though, if you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. When 2013 begins, jump right on in and work like you’ve never worked before – harder and smarter. The rewards may not be instantaneous, but they will be felt soon enough.
Say YES more often
In classes, on stage and screen, in your life – just wolf down the red pill and see how deep the rabbit hole goes. I don’t mean accepting terrible jobs, or placing yourself in danger, but I do mean challenging yourself. The way to challenge yourself is to use counter intuition when it comes to the making of certain decisions. Don’t fight a director or teacher when things get difficult, just try it. Don’t hold off on that offer to do an exciting new course, just enroll and find a way to pay for it. Don’t deny yourself your ultimate fantasy because fear holds you back, just dive in and say Yes! Jim Carrey’s film Yes Man may be a Hollywood fantasy, but you’ll never know how useful it may have been to you, if you don’t give it a try in your own life.
Respect yourself
Whether is comes to your career, your health, or your choices, in professional and personal relationships, respect yourself and don’t accept anything less than what you deserve. Though no fan of regrets, I accepted a ‘consolation’ job a few years ago which, in the eyes of the casting director, I feel I’m still recovering from. It was an invaluable lesson to learn. You do not need a job, you want to build a career. You do not need just any old agent to shove your headshot in a drawer, you want a driven one, who is passionate about being your partner. You do not need to lower yourself to accept any and all invites from social media bottom-dwellers, you want to surround yourself with productive, passionate, and supportive people who want the best for you. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Find out what it means to you. If you don’t respect yourself, who will?
Take one risk a week
I realised how daunting the one-risk-a-day suggestion might sound, so I amended it to one per week! With 168 hours a week (126, excluding 8hrs of sleep a day), 52 risks should be entirely achievable by the end of the year. But what is a risk, exactly? Do I mean jumping off a cliff, wearing only a G-string for support against gravity and the elements? Am I suggesting you bombard Steven Spielberg’s inbox with multiple deliveries of your latest Gangnam Style demo reel? Perhaps you think I’m advocating hacking into the email account of a casting director, in order to email Kathryn Bigelow a glowing testimonial about your own acting, thus securing the lead role in her next cinematic desert excursion? No. ‘Risk’ is relative to your own understanding of ‘safety’. A friend of mine years ago was fond of randomly scaling buildings in the city. It gave him a buzz. When he got the urge, he didn’t think twice, he just did it. Thankfully, he’s still alive today to tell the tale, but to him this was no risk. To him, sitting still was the risk. Staying in a relationship after it got hard, was the risk. We all experience different levels of difficulty in life, but only contemplating pushing through it do we arrive at the risk. You may never do classes – do one. You may always be committed to classes – leave them for a while. If you read all the time, stop it. If you don’t read, pick up a few books and force yourself to finish them. Risks are not always loud and they are not necessarily glamorous. They are personal to you, and they need to be decided upon by you. Though you may not know a risk until you see it, you will almost certainly recognise the anesthetising embrace of safety. Leave it behind just once a week. In a year, you will be fifty-two steps closer to the person you want to be, and the career you have always longed for.
Make decisions
For all the advice I could give actors about their acting and careers, the most disturbing challenge for most actors is their fear of making decisions. Someone once told me that if decisions are so difficult to make, then toss a coin. It truly won’t make a difference. The decision to laugh or cry; to cajole or intimidate; to do the unpaid short film or the amazing new acting course, are all equal in your mind, otherwise the decision would be easy. So toss a coin. Seriously. If this doesn’t solve the problem, then you are suffering a chronic case of I’m Not Good Enough, in which case I’d suggest a hypnotherapist to reshape your subconscious paradigm. Failing that, you could just take Bob Newhart’s advice in this video. We sometimes feel crippled by the number of possible options, as though we are in a maze, with no discernible way out. But consider this: the way out of a maze is place your on hand on a wall and walk. Do not remove your hand from the wall, because no matter how many twists and turns you experience along the way, eventually you will come out the other end. Not a quick solution, but a guaranteed solution. In the end, guaranteed solutions are much faster than shortcuts that get you lost.
Thank you for supporting and encouraging me this year, and I hope you have an exciting, productive, and rewarding 2013!
Paul Barry is an actor, director, writer, teacher and blogger. He co-owns Acting 4 Camera and Showreels Australia. He lives in LA, but regularly teaches via Skype, all around the world.
You may also like:
10 Things For Actors To Stop Saying
© Acting 4 Camera 2012
(The blogs you see on www.acting4camera.com are free, but they don’t write themselves. If you find the information useful, feel free to donate below to keep them coming. Your contribution of any amount is graciously welcomed!)
Follow Us!