Forging Powerful Relationships

Forging Powerful Relationships – In 5 Steps

It was great to see so many people come out to NAFA’s Sepia Choc Tops night recently to hear about how to forge powerful relationships in this industry. Thanks again to Tony Chu for hosting the event year after year, and thanks also to Sidat de Silva for all his great work in making these events run smoothly.

I wanted to summarise the points I covered, so as to give you some very clear guidelines in your pursuit of building powerful and meaningful relationships in the Australian film, television and theatre industry. The exact same principles may be applied to the US – or any other city or industry for that matter. Below are two online dictionary definitions for the word ‘forge’. It would seem that creating, building and maintaining relationships in this industry takes a bit of both…

forge/fôrj/ (verb)

So, with those definitions solidly in our minds, let’s examine the FIVE major points from my talk – each with three suggestions for their execution:

1)   Every powerful relationship REQUIRES…

• CONTACT (Saying ‘hi’ is a simple idea, but sometimes the hardest part, and yet, you cannot begin any relationship without it. I believe it was Martin Scorsese who said, ‘Nothing happens until you first make a decision’. So do it, contact people – via friends and colleagues, or directly, in emails, hand-written letters, semaphore, smoke signals, skywriting or carrier pidgeon – doesn’t matter. Just do it in an engaging and professional manner)
• CONTENT (Now this takes time. Thousands of CONTACTS will do less for you than one strong RELATIONSHIP. The content must be genuine, respectful and high quality. Poor Communication = Poor Content. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you have to be best friends. On the contrary, some of the best industry relationships are purely on a professional level. Either way though, CONTENT IS KING.)
• COMMITMENT (Whether it’s on a film set, in a romantic relationship, or working in a call centre, commitment is the fuel for any powerful relationship. Just because you’re tired, doesn’t mean you can let your friend down when they need you. Similarly, the more you neglect the ‘relationships’ you develop in a professional capacity, the more likely it is they will wither and fade away. COMMIT to the genuine enjoyment of being with people and sharing their successes and failures and you will find people who will return the favour.)

2)   Forge relationships with SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE. Successful people are people who…

• Have INITIATIVE (Motivated self-starters. Successful people don’t need to be told something twice. They stay ahead of the crowd)
• Are INNOVATIVE (as well as flexible, adaptive. Steve Jobs said “Innovation is what separates the leaders from the followers”. You can’t be innovative along your journey if you are always dutifully staring at the tail of the sheep in front of you)
• Are GIVING, GRATEFUL & GRACIOUS (You cannot do it on your own, so say thanks as often as possible to those who helped you get where you are. Gifts, flowers, cards, theatre or movie tickets, a thank you card or just a phone call or email. It doesn’t take much for someone to think ‘Aww, you shouldn’t have’. But in fact, you should have. And you’ll be glad you did)

3)   Creating Content (Pt 1) – Your WORK reputation

• IMPROVE (Make very piece of work at least as good as the one before. Ideally, even better. No point doing work that steadily gets worse, or wildly fluctuates from average to abominable to terrific, then back to shameful. Keep raising your lowest possible standard. The highs can come and go by themselves, but you raise the lows, through work, training and practice. It’s called professionalism)
•  PERSIST (Keep working, but adhere to the IMPROVE rule above…. Keep working, but surround yourselves with successful professionals. Or at the least, people who are better than you. Increase your skills and quality of work by always punching slightly above your weight.)
•  SHARE (Spread your work around. “Don’t hide your talents under a bushel”, as they say… In person, through word of mouth, online or using ESP. Whatever gets your work in front of the eyes of the people in Point 2 – as long as it is adhering to the IMPROVE rule above, also….)

4)   Creating Content (Pt 2) – Your ONLINE reputation

• Be in CONTROL of it from the start (A month of setting it up is better than a lifetime of living it down. This requires research, reading and asking around. Otherwise, I’m very happy to run sessions to set people up on social media. You’d be surprised how simple it is to set up and run, with only an hour or two each week. Seriously, that’s all you need.)
• DON’T ADD everyone and DON’T SHARE everything. (Keep it professional and engaging. Be discerning. Adhere to the rules in Part 3 – Improve, Persist, Share)
• Adhere to the rules of SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE (covered in point 2 – Have Initiative, be Innovative, be Giving, Grateful and Gracious…)

5)   Do it!

• Make A PLAN (Who do you already know? Who do you need to know? Who do you want to know? Make a list and form a strategy. Every day you should be ticking off a list of people to contact. I was once told that to be great at anything you need to do it eight hours a day. One call or email a week doesn’t quite measure up. Read my blog, Eight Hours A Day)
• CONTACT, CONTENT & COMMITMENT (it begins now. Author Karen Lamb once wrote, ‘A year from now you may wish you’d started today”. Seriously, ask yourself, ‘If not now, when?’)
• BE MONUMENTAL (Ben Jonson, English dramatist and contemporary of William Shakespeare once wrote, ‘I made my life a monument’. Think about what that actually means. That’s phenomenal. He didn’t just get by or follow the crowd or work a desk job. He made his life a monument.

I am making my life a monument too. What will you do with yours…?

Paul Barry is an actor, director, writer, teacher and blogger. He co-owns Acting 4 Camera and Showreels Australia. He lives in LA, but regularly teaches via Skype, all around the world. Check out his blogs on other topics here.

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