Believe it or not, we are approaching a quarter of the way into the new year, so what better time to ask ourselves, how did those resolutions we made at the end of last year turn out?
If you created new year’s resolutions in December it’s almost a mathematical certainty that you will have long since failed at them, or simply forgotten about them by now, if you even began them at all.
But never fear, the best time for resolutions is always NOW. After all, if not now, when?
What were you hoping and planning for this year? More money, more freedom, more travel, more work? Perhaps you were hoping for less. Less stress, less responsibility, less conflict? Or was it fewer? Fewer incidents, fewer deadlines, fewer illnesses and injuries?
By now you will know if your resolutions were S.M.A.R.T. goals that created results, or if they were simply pipe dreams and hollow promises.
Have you noticed that depending on your outlook at any given point in time you are either surrounded by winners, or surrounded by losers? Let’s reframe that and equate winning with growth and losing with stagnation. After all, wealthy people can be incredibly unhappy, just as less ‘financially mobile’ people can experience perfectly fulfilled lives. Obviously a balance of wealth and happiness is preferable, but let’s be sure that our definition of success is deeper than just financial riches.
Who do you surround yourself with, and do they encourage your growth or benefit from your stagnation?
- Take a piece of paper (yes, an actual piece of paper) and write down everything you ‘resolved’ to do at the end of last year (or even just hoped, wished or planned for). Go ahead, I’ll wait.
- Now write down everything from that list that you’ve actually achieved to date.
- Finally, write down everyone that has either helped or hindered you so far this year.
(Only you will ever read this list, so don’t sugar-coat it, be brave and be honest.)
Looking at your list, how satisfied are you with your own progress, and how satisfied are you with the support you’ve received along the way? What could you have done better so far, and what do you plan to do to differently with your ‘team’ from today onwards?
If someone else over-promises and under-delivers how do you feel when their lack of follow-through impacts you? Let down, of course. But that’s easy to change, by simply switching the players on your team. How do you feel though when you do the same to yourself? Undoubtedly you feel terrible, because each failed goal makes it harder to believe that you’ll be successful at committing to self-improvement in the future. As important as having reliable people around us is, promises that we make to ourselves are paramount.
This is not intended to make you feel bad, or to devalue your chosen support network. Quite the contrary. It’s a rocket under your ass, to make sure you keep on track and demand the people around you support you to the full, or else stop enabling your fears, laziness or procrastination. Remember, you aren’t letting anyone else down. Everyone else is far too concerned with his or her own life. If you don’t do it for you, what are you waiting for? A Powerball win?
Seriously. If not now, when?
Are you running your life entirely independently, or do you ask for help and advice? If you are going it alone, good on you. That’s awesome, and I hope it’s working out for you. If not, ask for help. If you are regularly asking for help and advice, then please, please, please, don’t be an ‘askhole’. An askhole is a person who constantly asks for advice and then consistently ignores it. Whichever path you have chosen to pursue is absolutely fine, but own it. Own your decisions and the consequences of those decisions, and accept that all the help you need is right there and always has been.
So go back to your list of resolutions, hopes, dreams, aspirations from last year, and take a good look at those who supported or sabotaged you. If you can commit to your S.M.A.R.T. goals alone, do it. If you can’t, ask for help. But for your own sake, make this the year you promise yourself to sort your shit out. There are loads of us here to help.
Now get out there and make the rest of this year fucking incredible. You owe it to yourself.
Paul Barry is an actor, director, writer, teacher and blogger. He co-owns Acting 4 Camera and Showreels Australia. Paul lives in LA, contributes articles as a Backstage Expert, and regularly teaches and mentors actors around the world via Skype.
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